Its Saturday night. Jaime is out of town AGAIN, Aryana is with a friend, and the other two girls are sleeping. I'm in that mindset, where I'm feeling a bit blue, lonely, sad, and overwhelmed. But...I'm kicking satan and his negative thoughts of my life to the curb. God is doing a great work in my life and with my family. I have too much to be greatful for to be stuck in the "whoa is me" state.
McKenna has just kicked another cold AND the flu. For a baby with cystic fibrosis that is great. I find myself waiting on pins and needles, waiting for that culture to come back positive or for them to tell me the worst. But...they haven't! God is answering our prayers. In fact, McKenna has been less sick than Aryana was at this age (knock on wood, cross my fingers)! I am so blessed. My baby is doing great. She is gaining right along the 50th percentile, she is exploring, talking, grabbing, eating....all the things a typical 6 month old does. The dr's tell me "Great Job Mom" and in my head I am thinking no... Thank God! God is the reason for it all and to God be the Glory!
And McKenna is not the only blessing in my life. Nevaeh and Aryana are awesome as well. Nevaeh is heading into her 6th month of speech therapy, and people can finally understand what that smart little girl is saying. All of the knowledge has been trapped behind her lips for months now, and she won't SHUT UP!!! Its wonderful. Aryana had kickball tryouts today, yes I said tryouts. I guess the purpose is too make the teams even. She is so athletic (like her mom;)!) and she amazes me. I love watching her run and play and enjoy her life. I find myself trying to catch up with the fact that my baby is in kindergarten...she is really 6! All 3 of my girls are wonderful, beautiful little things and AGAIN I have God the thank for them.
Me and Jaime are in a sort of transformation right now. Its like we both decided that we weren't happy where we professionaly and are demanding a change. I quit my job...the job I felt like I needed for whatever reason. I decided that the drama, the lack of appreciation, pay and the other things I would rather not go into, were not worth me not spending every second with McKenna. She needed me and I needed her. We couldn't afford for me to quit and stay home...but we really couldn't afford for McKenna to be getting sick and exposed to all those nasty germs in daycare. Jaime just turned 30! OHMYGOSH! I met him when he was 20 and now here we are facing his 30's...lol...mine will begin in 2 years! I pray to God that our 30's prove to be better than our 20's, but if not then thats ok because we have eachother and we have our family and that is all we have ever needed before.
God will carry us just like always. He is growing us, making us in His image, in His time, with His purpose. Whenever I question why....I just try to remember that God has a will for our lives and no matter how hard I fight it, He is fulfilling His will for our lives. I might as well find happiness in everything and enjoy today because I now see firsthand that none of is guaranteed tomorrow.
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